God is Real
Every week, I have experiences in life. Some good. Some bad. But each of them teach me a lesson about life and sometimes about what I need to change and what not to do. Then without fail, every single Sunday, the lessons taught in Sacrament meeting, in Sunday School, and in Relief Society perfectly coincide with the experiences that I have had the previous week.
I can tell that God is changing my heart, one Sunday at a time. He knows what I need to learn and He prepares my heart each week to be receptive to the lessons He wants me to learn.
This coming Sunday, our Relief Society lesson is entitled "Beware of Pride". This week has taught me that this is a major stumbling block for me. I can honestly say that I was not aware of the intensity of this problem in my heart until this last Sunday.
Last week, we attended the Ozark 2nd Branch in Ozark, Alabama. I walked into the building with the prideful thought of how good I looked and how everyone was going to see that I was Tim's wife that he had been talking about the last few weeks. I was thinking how impressed they would be and how impressive I was.
Now, mind you, I didn't sit their in my head and have these long drawn out conversations about this. These were the works of those little fleeting thoughts that brush through your mind as your mind sits idle. I did not pay them much heed...but they were still definitely whispering somewhere inside of me.
I entered the chapel and immediately started to type everyone. First of all, I was a bit surprised at how beautiful and fashionable this little Branch was. This was Alabama after all and I had it in my mind that Alabama....and a Branch no less...was going to be a bit of a throw back to Huckleberry Fin! I expected to see a lot of suspenders and plaid and was surprised that these folks were every bit as Urban as I was.
Folly number one.
This Sunday was Fast and Testimony meeting, where the members of the congregation have the opportunity to share their personal testimonies as prompted by the Spirit. As each person approached the pulpit, I judged them. I sat their with a smile on my face thinking that I knew exactly what was coming.
Two people in particular stand out for me.
The first gal walked up to the pulpit in a t-shirt and a pair of sweat pants and no makeup. I thought, oh she must be an investigator. I bet she also smokes and has a messy house. She probably is on welfare and yells at her kids.
What came next brought tears to my eyes and a huge dose of humility to my heart. Her testimony was heartfelt, beautiful, moving, and inspiring. She talked about her personal conversion story. She told about the miracles in her life that were nothing short of amazing. I could truly feel the love the God had for this beautiful girl.
I found myself thinking, "I want to know that girl. I want to be more like her."
It was amazing to me to realize how I was sitting there in judgement of this Daughter of God based on the wrapper but what was inside was the sweetest and most divine goodness I have ever seen.
Now, like I said before. These were fleeting thoughts. But they sure were there and I wasn't making a single effort to kick them out.
Then the second gal. This beautiful woman was well groomed. Her dress was pressed. Her hair was perfect as was her makeup. Her demeanor was confident and her smile ready. I thought to myself, this woman is so put together. I bet she is a stalwart Daughter of God. She looks like she is the perfect example of righteousness and kindness. I bet she serves and leads. I bet she reads her scriptures daily and says many prayers. I bet she has a clean home and is kind to all around her. Then she opened her mouth.
She talked about how this was her once in 5 years testimony because standing in front of people terrifies her. She talked about how she gained a testimony at 17 and now that she is 60, she still hasn't attended the Temple because she struggles with addiction. She talked about her family life growing up and how all of her siblings had been arrested at some point and how she was not a great kid either. She talked about how rough it was and how she still struggles.
I was stunned, humbled, and also I felt a bit chastised by God, and rightly so.
I found myself thinking, "I want to know that girl. I want to be more like her."
The rest of the meeting that day continued in this way and I wish that I could say that I stopped judging, but I didn't. But EACH TIME, I was brought to my knees, figuratively, in humility as I realized over and over again how wrong I was.
These wonderful people, and all people, are choice and loved sons and daughters of a Heavenly King. I am no greater than any of them. We are all equal and we are all on a life journey together that takes us on different paths but ultimately they lead back to the one who created us.
Our wrappers may differ. Our experiences may alter us on the outside as they certainly do on the inside. But without knowing what lies beneath, I and we can in no way know or judge the hearts of others.
I learned a lot that day. I am still learning from it. I will probably think back on this experience often as I struggle to let go of pride and conceit. I am humbled to know that God loves me enough to let me see the follies in myself and then doesn't leave me out to dry wondering how I will ever be able to change. No, He knows me. He is real. He provides a way for me to change my heart as surely as He provided a Savior to atone for my weeknesses.
I love my God. I love my Savior, Jesus Christ.
I will forever find myself thinking, "I want to know them. I want to be more like them."
I can tell that God is changing my heart, one Sunday at a time. He knows what I need to learn and He prepares my heart each week to be receptive to the lessons He wants me to learn.
This coming Sunday, our Relief Society lesson is entitled "Beware of Pride". This week has taught me that this is a major stumbling block for me. I can honestly say that I was not aware of the intensity of this problem in my heart until this last Sunday.
Last week, we attended the Ozark 2nd Branch in Ozark, Alabama. I walked into the building with the prideful thought of how good I looked and how everyone was going to see that I was Tim's wife that he had been talking about the last few weeks. I was thinking how impressed they would be and how impressive I was.
Now, mind you, I didn't sit their in my head and have these long drawn out conversations about this. These were the works of those little fleeting thoughts that brush through your mind as your mind sits idle. I did not pay them much heed...but they were still definitely whispering somewhere inside of me.
I entered the chapel and immediately started to type everyone. First of all, I was a bit surprised at how beautiful and fashionable this little Branch was. This was Alabama after all and I had it in my mind that Alabama....and a Branch no less...was going to be a bit of a throw back to Huckleberry Fin! I expected to see a lot of suspenders and plaid and was surprised that these folks were every bit as Urban as I was.
Folly number one.
This Sunday was Fast and Testimony meeting, where the members of the congregation have the opportunity to share their personal testimonies as prompted by the Spirit. As each person approached the pulpit, I judged them. I sat their with a smile on my face thinking that I knew exactly what was coming.
Two people in particular stand out for me.
The first gal walked up to the pulpit in a t-shirt and a pair of sweat pants and no makeup. I thought, oh she must be an investigator. I bet she also smokes and has a messy house. She probably is on welfare and yells at her kids.
What came next brought tears to my eyes and a huge dose of humility to my heart. Her testimony was heartfelt, beautiful, moving, and inspiring. She talked about her personal conversion story. She told about the miracles in her life that were nothing short of amazing. I could truly feel the love the God had for this beautiful girl.
I found myself thinking, "I want to know that girl. I want to be more like her."
It was amazing to me to realize how I was sitting there in judgement of this Daughter of God based on the wrapper but what was inside was the sweetest and most divine goodness I have ever seen.
Now, like I said before. These were fleeting thoughts. But they sure were there and I wasn't making a single effort to kick them out.
Then the second gal. This beautiful woman was well groomed. Her dress was pressed. Her hair was perfect as was her makeup. Her demeanor was confident and her smile ready. I thought to myself, this woman is so put together. I bet she is a stalwart Daughter of God. She looks like she is the perfect example of righteousness and kindness. I bet she serves and leads. I bet she reads her scriptures daily and says many prayers. I bet she has a clean home and is kind to all around her. Then she opened her mouth.
She talked about how this was her once in 5 years testimony because standing in front of people terrifies her. She talked about how she gained a testimony at 17 and now that she is 60, she still hasn't attended the Temple because she struggles with addiction. She talked about her family life growing up and how all of her siblings had been arrested at some point and how she was not a great kid either. She talked about how rough it was and how she still struggles.
I was stunned, humbled, and also I felt a bit chastised by God, and rightly so.
I found myself thinking, "I want to know that girl. I want to be more like her."
The rest of the meeting that day continued in this way and I wish that I could say that I stopped judging, but I didn't. But EACH TIME, I was brought to my knees, figuratively, in humility as I realized over and over again how wrong I was.
These wonderful people, and all people, are choice and loved sons and daughters of a Heavenly King. I am no greater than any of them. We are all equal and we are all on a life journey together that takes us on different paths but ultimately they lead back to the one who created us.
Our wrappers may differ. Our experiences may alter us on the outside as they certainly do on the inside. But without knowing what lies beneath, I and we can in no way know or judge the hearts of others.
I learned a lot that day. I am still learning from it. I will probably think back on this experience often as I struggle to let go of pride and conceit. I am humbled to know that God loves me enough to let me see the follies in myself and then doesn't leave me out to dry wondering how I will ever be able to change. No, He knows me. He is real. He provides a way for me to change my heart as surely as He provided a Savior to atone for my weeknesses.
I love my God. I love my Savior, Jesus Christ.
I will forever find myself thinking, "I want to know them. I want to be more like them."
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