Confessions of a LuLaRoe Retailer

  I have so many thoughts jumbling together in my head right now.  I hope that by writing them down I can sort them and make sense of them. So, fair warning....this may be a roller coaster of thoughts so buckle up and enjoy the ride.

These past few weeks have been really difficult.  Not just because we bought our very first home (yay us) and moved many States away to start a new chapter of our lives. No, that has been difficult in its own right, for sure.  But, what has really been weighing heavy is the fact that I should be delivering my sweet little Elliott Milton right around now with all my other maternal friends.  It has been a gut wrenching, confusing, dizzying experience.  But, I am trudging through and learning a lot about myself, the Lord, and His plan for us.

During all of this upheaval, I have been working diligently on my business, Liv's LuLaRoe Boutique. This has also been a very fun and stressful experience. ;)  I have a new space that I am fitting up right proper to hold all of the things.  It is just taking a LOT of time.  Construction, paint, more construction, counting, hanging, sorting.  It's coming together, but it is slow.  I am also working on starting a new branch of my Boutique and because I am who I am, I need to finish doing some accounting and "paper pushing" before I can start it.

I have been so down on myself. So frustrated.  So overwhelmed.

Balancing mom-life, wife-life, work-life, teacher-life (I homeschool...and we are working through the Summer since our vacations took up some school days)...  unpacking, sorting, settling, etc.  It's been a real challenge finding my center.

Another aspect of me is that I struggle with depression.  So add that fun little layer and you can imagine (maybe) how that has effected everything else.

But enough about that. ;)

What I really want to talk about it how I am planning on changing all of that and really sorting out my priorities.
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Recently, I listened to a commentary from a fellow retailer talking about what she thought success looked like.  I have to admit, I was really put off by what she said and I think it was just the right catalyst I needed to take a good, honest look at my life and make some necessary changes.

I decided I needed to decide what success looked like to me.

I think the greatest discovery (and it really shouldn't have been a discovery) was that this was MY BUSINESS and I could run it however I wanted!  I was putting deadlines and expectations on myself that were not in line with my values.  I would constantly tell myself, "I have so much to do!  I am so behind!"  Oh my goodness!  How laughable.  This is MY life.  My business.  MY family!  I am the CEO of all three and I get to decide how far behind or ahead I was so I decided to change my dialog.  Now all of a sudden, I am ahead of schedule! I don't have all that much to do.  I have exactly enough to be happy and enjoy my personal journey.  What a light bulb moment!!

While I have been writing this, I have taken numerous breaks to set young men up with their assignments for the day, played dinosaurs with my 2 year old, taken a picture for Instagram, updated my hostesses, and laughed!  My life is what I make of it and I am deciding to take time to enjoy the beauty that surrounds me!  Yes, there are boxes to be unpacked, dishes to wash, floors to vacuum, but also trees to be gazed at, plastic snakes that need to be snatched from the grasps of the infamous plastic T-rex's, hugs to be given, and while I type, a pile of 'artifacts' to be received with gratitude from a helpful 2 year old.

So far, I have a blanket, an eraser, a stuffed unicorn, a plastic Allosaurus, and a cat toy.

I have allowed myself to get out of sync with my vision, my core, my why.  I did not start selling LuLaRoe to make thousands or yes even millions of dollars.  I decided to start selling LuLaRoe to admittedly pay for school in the beginning and then it became a part of my core.  I always wanted a little Boutique that was my little corner of the world.  A place where I could express myself, bless others lives, make lifelong friends.  Am I not accomplishing just that?  Why yes!  Yes I am!

I don't need to sacrifice sleep, family time, a clean house, or personal grooming to be successful!   If I did, then I could surely say that I was not a success at all!  I choose to have balance.  I choose to be a great Mommy, an amazing and supportive wife, a great chef and housekeeper, a fabulous and fun Fashion Retailer, and most importantly, a grounded, Christ-centered daughter of God.  

I can love more, read my scriptures and pray more, laugh more, take time to enjoy the beauty around me, serve with kindness, take care of my personal needs, read a novel, and sing!  I can take time to WRITE!  I love writing.  It's therapeutic.  I can plan trips to the Temple.  I can take a walk with my kids.  I can turn down the lights and draw the curtains closed during nap time and just sit and think. 

I don't have to fill every available moment WITH something.  

Will I always have 3 fresh loaves of bread made from wheat I ground myself?  Bathed children with great haircuts and clean clothes?  A freezer full of prepped meals?  A meticulous lawn with flowers, fruits and vegetables growing unheeded in abundance?  No.  But I may have 1 loaf of homemade, home ground bread a week that gets consumed almost immediately ;), bathed children on Sunday looking dapper, and a few meals or ingredients on hand, and a flower bed full of weeds and flowers with a desire for vegetables to grow. 

Does this measure my success?  No, it does not.  

I can be great at a lot of things!  I can be pretty good or terrible at a lot of things too.  

Does this measure my success?  No, it does not.

Today, I choose.

I choose to train my T.E.A.M.  to the best of my ability.  

I choose to serve my clients with amazing pieces that will bless their lives and support their dreams and goals.  

I choose to stop and watch crazy You Tube videos with my kids when they run in excited to show me something and NOT say, "Ya, but just not right now" and then watch the enthusiasm go out of them like a loose balloon.  

I choose to wake up with my husband at the crack of dawn so he is not alone and has a sleepy face to kiss goodbye on his way to work.  

I choose to go bed with him at night and not stay up late taking pictures of inventory or prepping shipments for the next day.  

I choose to exercise and take a shower before my 2 year old wakes up and SOMETIMES I choose to exercise while he is watching Mickey Mouse Clubhouse on my bed and taking an Olympic, gold medal winning, fast shower with the door open while telling him, "Uh oh buddy!  We don't play with the toilet brush!"  

I choose to set realistic expectations and goals for myself and then triumph in the small 'wins'.

I choose to LIVE!  Not tomorrow, not when I have more money, not next week, not when it stops raining.  RIGHT NOW. Today!  ...and everyday.

I choose happiness.