That One Time When I Fell off a Galloping Horse...
and the girls that he unseated.
The last day had come on our journey of fun.
Our trip was soon completed.
The decision was made to take to the trails
on a horse ride to round out our fun.
No idea, had we, that our slow ride would be
ending up with our horse on the run.
Our horse was assigned, Sir Chief was his name,
we looked into his eyes to connect.
Then I got a leg up and Aveline was placed
in the saddle for me to protect.
My feet, I secured, in the stirrups with care
and I gave Sir Chief a pat.
Then off with a click we followed the lead
to soon realize Sir Chief was a brat.
He thrashed and meandered and got too close
to his girlfriend who gave me a kick.
Our saddle then started to tilt and to teeter
and it started making me sick.
With a worried mind we battled with wills
and Sir Chief won out each time.
He just made it clear his time was near,
A stable sounded just fine!
The jerk then trotted and cantered about
Thrashing his head as he went.
Then with a start he started to FART!
And galloped away like Clark Kent!
Our saddle, it slipped more and more with each clip
And yelling and screaming I tugged
I grabbed my sweet girl and down we did twirl
In the most unbelievable hug.
With a thwack we landed on my right hip
My breath - completely depleted.
I lay there in shock and tried to take stock
Surely death had just been cheated.
My girl, she popped up with nary a scratch
As I lay there and wiggled my toes.
Our terrified friends gathered round to assess
To see if we had broken any bones.
To my utter shock, once my breath had returned
I was able to walk in the mud.
And since Chief and his girlfriend had galloped away
We three had to trudge through the flood.
With wincing and pain, it started to rain.
What an ending to such an ordeal
I put on a brave face as we walked at my pace
Feeling sure I was not going to heal.
One trail master had come to offer a ride
“Get back on Chief” she suggested we do
OH NO! No thanks, Not even if I could
Would I ride astride that wazoo!
Apologies and excuses were handed out
“Oh he was sweaty so his saddle slipped, you see?”
And I just smiled and grimaced inside
It was a pretty lousy plea.
Thirty minutes of trudging, we made it back,
By this time my adrenaline was spent.
The pain was intense - so to the ER we commenced
For CT scans and meds, we went.
My neck, my back, my head all scanned
Surprised at no breaks, no bleeds.
But passing out and throwing up
Kept me in my bed with more needs.
When again I was finally able to move
My doctor looked at me with chagrin.
“You will not be flying home tonight my dear,
You must stay in Florida with your kin!”
So calls were made and plans were changed
And one more day, we stayed.
Then wheelchair bound and drugged to town
We flew home on Southwest while we prayed.
Thus ends the tale of a horse named Sir Chief
And the girls that he unseated
The next horse I ride will be on a carousel astride
My pony days are happily completed.
The End
-By Olivia Heilmann
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